Today I was going through the Humans Of New York site when a picture of an older couple caught my eye. He is significantly taller than her, and even though they are facing the camera, their bodies are slightly angled towards each other, she is on her toes, while he is leaning towards her, closing the space between them. It is an extremely attractive picture and what makes it so is how they are both extending themselves towards the other.
It made me think about some of the clients I get who struggle to attract lasting relationships.
I have seen a fair amount of women who are tired of being single but can’t seem to manifest relationships that go beyond a few weeks or a few dates. Some who have it really bad can’t even conjure a single date. The longer they stay single, the more they hunger for a relationship. They develop an acute almost constant awareness of their unmet romantic needs. They deeply, (some even desperately) want a mate to satiate the longing.
I ask them a question that always stumps them. How quickly they recover and manage to answer the question gives me some indication of how close they are to attracting healthy relationships.
Can you guess what that question is?
“What are you looking forward to giving this man?”
Simple enough, isn’t it?
Yet they’ve become so focused on wanting, on seeking, on needing someone to give to them (or is it to take from?) that they completely forget that in a relationship you give as well. In fact a lot of joy in relationships is derived from giving.
They have developed a needy, grasping energy that is not only unattractive it can be downright repulsive.
They are like little chicks with gaping mouths, only concerned with making enough noise to get someone, anyone, to drop a juicy morsel in their hungry mouths. The only person who is moved by such a sight is the mother, anyone else who is attracted to you while you are in such a state is probably someone you should run a mile from.
If you recognise yourself in this picture, take out a piece of paper and fill it with the things you are looking forward to GIVING in your next relationship. This alone will shift your energy significantly.