Imagine never needing to trust your partner.
“I don’t have to trust you…I trust my ability to choose the right man.”
I saved this tweet, by @SEXisMyReligion.
The cool thing about most concepts is that they are multi-layered and just when you think you get something, it’s presented to you from a different angle and you have an opportunity to know it on a deeper level.
This is how I felt when I read that tweet.
If I trusted myself, I’d never, ever have to feel insecure ever again in a relationship. If I could count on myself to always act in my own best interest, I wouldn’t need to control or patrol my partner.
It’s not my partner’s actions that lead to my feelings of insecurity, it is my lack of faith in myself. Maybe I don’t believe that I chose the right man. Perhaps I don’t trust that if I ever had to choose, I wouldn’t abandon myself for him. Perhaps I don’t have faith in the solidity of my own boundaries.
Either way it is all, really and truly about me, always has been and will be. So there is never justification to fixate on the other, as (s)he merely reflects me back to myself.
Increasingly people are beginning to believe, or rather are willing to consider the possibility, that relationships are nature’s mirror. That what you see in another, in relationship, is merely a reflection of you. That is all you can see –acknowledged, accepted, rejected and repressed aspects of you, but all you.
Imagine a relationship between two people who firmly believe this.